Goodnight Mommy (2015 - Austria)

(German Title: Ich Seh Ich She)

Directed by Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz

Written by Veronica Franz and Severin Fiala

Starring Lukas and Elias Schwartz and Susanne Wuest

Throughout the world, different cultures make for different tastes in many themes and genres. For instance, a film that American’s might find funny and entertaining may fly right over the heads of audiences in Great Britain. It’s not that either is wrong or right, but rather than comedy is purely subjective. And what one person might find relatable, another person from another country might find it random. Comedy is not Universal.

On the other end of the spectrum is the horror genre. Horror transcends cultures and terrifies us all regardless of where we’re from or what language we speak. We are all afraid of what goes “bump” in the night. Regardless of one’s background, it is near impossible to not feel a sense of unease when presented with the unknown. And, apparently creepy little kids.

In this Austrian film, a pair of identical twin boys, Lukas and Elias, struggle to settle back home when their Mother returns home from having cosmetic surgery. Her face hidden by bandages, her increasingly odd behavior fuels the boys’ nightmares. Their fear and paranoia takes control as they seek to find out the true identity of the woman beneath the gauze.

In a film that could just as easily rely on loud noises and quick cuts to cause the viewers heart rate to rise, on the contrary, the filmmakers opt for slow moving shots and force you to listen to the silence for clues. A delicately constructed film, you more or less need to watch every frame in order to see and understand every little nuance created for the story. “Goodnight Mommy” won’t scare you, per say. But it will certainly make you feel uneasy straight away.

This film was very difficult to review because there is so much to say. Yet saying anything more would give too much away.

In order to understand the films true story and not just the one presented in the trailer, you need to see it for yourself. It is so much more than it lets on.

My Rating: 8/10

The Omen (1976)

Directed by Richard Donner
Written by David Seltzer
Starring Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner and Billie Whitelaw

Upon the death of his newborn son, an American Ambassador is persuaded into witching out his child for that of a mother whom died in birth. When the child grows up, the Ambassador begins to notice strange happenings surrounding his child. He soon finds that the child he has been raising may be the son of the devil himself.

Back in 2006, I saw the remake of this classic horror movie. Upon seeing the original, I realized that the  filmmakers took no liberties with the remake. It is more less a shot-for-shot duplicate. Everything from the infamous "It's all for you!" line to the scene in the graveyard in Italy, there are little to no differences.

There is something about the 39 year-old original that has a much creepier. It is a phenomenon that is hard to explain. Perhaps it is the technology or lack there of. Or maybe it's just the performances. The lack of my familiarity with the actors could have made it easier to suspend disbelief unlike witnessing Live Schreiber and Julia Stiles go through the same situations. I honestly cannot pinpoint it.

One thing that I do know is that Gregory Peck was not at the top of his game. Some scenes were good, but others were corny and overacted. He didn't absorb himself in the role like he did in "To Kill a Mockingbird".

I can't remember how many times I've said I'm not a horror movie fan. I don't dislike them. I just don't have a blind loyalty to them like so many people do. It takes a lot for me to like a horror. It takes even more for me to love one.

This did not impress me. But it did entertain me. I kind of felt like I was cheating a bit though. Because the remake is so similar to this one, I feel as though I had already seen it. I'm curious to know how I would have felt if I had only seen this one. I wonder if I would have had a better appreciation for it.

My Rating: 6/10

Unfriended (2014)

Directed by Leo Gabriadze
Written by Nelson Greaves
Starring Shelley Hennig, Moses Jacob Storm, Renee Olstead and Will Peltz

A group of online chat room friends find themselves haunted by a mysterious, supernatural force using the account of their dead friend.

This movie represents everything I hate about teenagers. Every single character is more deplorable than the next. They do things in the name of "popularity" and then act innocent and have no remorse until their lives are in danger.

I said it before in my review of "Tusk" and this is an even greater example of my point. Horror films today do not have likable characters. The thing that makes horror movies scary is caring about what happens to the characters. And to care about the characters you have to be able to connect with them. And to be able to connect with them, presuming everyone reading this is a decent human being, the characters have to be decent human beings. 

The characters in "Unfriended" have no redeemable qualities whatsoever. They are liars, bullies, cheaters, narcissists, backstabbers and degenerates. Every single thing that they do has no logical sense to it.

Your tears aren't fooling anyone, ya dumb ass!

It baffles me that this has such a high rating on Rotten Tomatoes. At 62%, it is well above what it should be. The only thing noteworthy about this movie is how it is all from the perspective of one computer screen. But that's been done before, and better. If anything, this movie gets points for being funny, because the death scenes were just SO bad!

My Rating: 3/10

Tusk (2014)

Written and Directed by Kevin Smith
Starring Justin Long, Michael Parks, Haley Joel Osment and Genesis Rodriguez

When podcaster Wallace Bryton goes missing in the backwoods of Manitoba while interviewing a mysterious seafarer named Howard Howe, his best friend Teddy and girlfriend Allison team with an ex-cop to look for him.

I went into this movie completely expecting to hate it. But half-way through it, I was entranced by the ridiculousness and absurdness and the arguably poetic nature of the story. Then, Kevin Smith does what he does best and completely ruined it by dragging out jokes too long.

It started out so strong with the banter between the protagonist and the mad scientist to the point that I thought that maybe, just maybe, Kevin Smith finally discovered how to make a movie that wasn't about people smoking pot. Then, as fast as it built itself up, if not faster, it crumbled to pieces into a drawn-out and unfunny SNL skit where the audience is expected to laugh just because the actors have a silly voice.

Never have I ever seen a movie fall apart so quickly. It's almost as if the entire film was just a prank that did nothing but waste every ones time. If this is supposed to be a comedy, it's not funny. If this is supposed to be a horror movie, it's not scary. It just exists.

One important aspect of horror movies that today's filmmakers seem to forget is that you have to make your characters likable in order for us to connect with the terror they're being put through. "Tusk" is not the only example of this short coming, but it is definitely an offender.

I may not have started this movie with the hopes of liking it, but I definitely felt that urge at some point before the fifty-minute mark. Kevin Smith wrote, directed, produced and edited it. And unfortunately I feel the latter is where he was mistaken. Ultimately, he didn't know when to cut a scene and call it a day. Scenes that began phenomenally quickly dwindled into horrendous-ness.

My Rating: 3/10

The Devil's Backbone (2001)

Directed by Guillermo del Toro
Written by Guillermo del Toro, Antonio Trashorras and Mavid Muñoz
Starring Fernando Tielve, Íñigo Garcés, Federico Luppi and Eduardo Noriega

After Carlos, a 12-year-old whose father has died in the Spanish Civil War, arrives at an ominous boy's orphanage, he discovers the school is haunted and has many dark secrets that he must uncover. Mainly the mystery of "the one who sighs", the ghost of a little boy who wanders the orphanage.

There are truly no horror films like those of Guillermo del Toro. He has such a way with storytelling, that he does not need jump scares and gore to keep you terrified. He does so with a subtlety and grace of the building tension, until the pot boils over.

Rather than having a monster or ghost the source of fear in his films, he uses them as the victims to the much more real villain of human cruelty. It is certainly a privilege to watch his stories unfold and this is no exception.

Being one of his earlier pictures, "The Devil's Backbone" fells as though it set the course for his career. It also becomes apparent that his style has not changed, not that it needs to. The themes of the innocence of children and their first experience with death has been prevalent throughout his career, and this is no different. It is one of the thing that makes him unique. 

He does not present death as something you should be afraid of. He presents it as the sad, inevitable finale of life that we must all accept. He finds a way to find the beauty and humanity of pain and present it with a sense of calm and solace. He continues to show why he is one of the more unique directors out there.

My Rating: 7/10

It Follows (2014)

Written and Directed by David Robert Mitchell

Starring Maika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Jake Weary and Daniel Zovatto

A young woman is followed by an unknown supernatural force after getting involved an innocent sexual encounter.

When I first heard about this movie, I had no interest in seeing it whatsoever. But when it came out, I heard only good things. Everyone told me I should go see this movie. And what I watched on that screen was exactly what I thought it would be. It was just OK.

This movie was nothing spectacular, like I had been told. It was your average horror movie with young adults having sex and being stupid in creepy (not even scary) situations. The entity that followed the main character around was less intimidating than a spider. They stated several times "it only walks, no matter how fast you travel". I've had more intense chase sequences in Mario Kart.

"Why's it taking so long to get here?"

This film is not without it's positives. While at it's core, it is just your average horror movie, the plot is actually quite unique and at times it is quite suspenseful. It's just nothing to write home about. Granted, while I do see a lot of horror movies, I am rarely impressed with them. It's just not a genre that I love. I love them when they're great, but that's rare for me. So perhaps I'm not the best judge for horror movies.

My Rating: 6/10

Bad Milo! (2013)

Directed by Jacob Vaughan

Written by Benjamin Hayes and Jacob Vaughan

Starring Ken Marino, Gillian Jacobs, Peter Stormare and Patrick Warburton

When an man's persistent stomach issues become too much to bare, he visits a doctor to find it is a stress related polyp in his intestines. But upon continuing issues, he learns that it wasn't a polyp at all! It was a large alien like creature... IN HIS ASS! And it has come to kill anyone that causes his human stress.

Ridiculously and disgustingly funny, this very, very, VERY low brow horror-comedy delicately walks the line between absurd and childish, and hits every single positive note that each description has to offer. The plot alone is childish enough to make any kid at heart giggle until there is a grin on their face.

Produced by the brotherly, man-children duo of Mark and Jay Duplass, it is exactly what you'd expect from them. Ludicrous, fun, immature and fantastic. If you decide to dive into the world that is ass-dwelling, stress killing monsters, you know exactly what you're getting into and have no excuse to not enjoy it due to it's subject matter. If you go in, not knowing what to expect, you only have yourself to blame.

That's one adorable ass-monster

"Bad Milo!" is what it is. A crazy, laugh-filled movie that is not meant to be taken seriously. You will laugh. You will grimace. You will be entertained.

My Rating: 7/10

Open Windows (2014)

Written and Directed by Nacho Vigalondo

Starring Elijah Wood, Sasha Grey, Neil Maskell and Adam Quintero

A jilted fan finds himself pulled into a deadly game of cat-and-mouse after he accepts the opportunity to spy on his favorite actress via his laptop. A skilled hacker works his way into every aspect of the fan's life in order to control him throughout the night.

This movie is definitely interesting. It takes the fear of hackers and their obsessions with actresses and displays their computer onto the big screen. Filmed and edited entirely to only show the open windows (OH, I GET IT!) of programs on a computer desktop, the action never cuts away from what the protagonist is looking at on his screen. 

Instead, the director chose to only move from window to window, looking into various programs, phone calls and videos. The style of this movie is undeniably unique. And one that I feel will be copied in future movies. But that is where the positives end for this movie.

Sorry, Elijah

The entire plot seemed like it was attempting to be convoluted in order to impress, but rather than achieve that, it just felt simple and convenient. Many of the things that the computer hackers were doing  seemed overly fictitious and made up for the sole purpose of making the style this was made in less boring.

Topped off with terrible acting (Elijah Wood excluded), this movie had little going for it other than the unique filming style. If you want to watch a decent thriller film with a unique filming style, that happens to be starring Elijah Wood, might I suggest 2012's "Maniac". It's not amazing, but if you're looking for those criteria, that is a much better choice.

My Rating: 3/10

Haunt (2013)

Directed by Mac Carter
Written by Andrew Barrer
Starring Harrison Gilbertson, Liana Liberato, Jacki Weaver and Ione Skye

An introvert teen befriends his new neighbor, and together the couple begin to explore the haunted house that his family has just purchased. Soon they discover that the stories about the house weren't the complete truth.

This was quite possibly the most unoriginal horror movie I have ever seen. Even down to the title screen, which was an obvious rip-off of the "Insidious" style. It is filled with every cliche in the book. Scenes that could potentially be suspenseful and creepy are ruined with sharp sounds and quick cuts. And every single plot point can be seen coming from a mile away.

The writing and acting were absolutely terrible. Even twice Oscar-nominated Jacki Weaver seemed to be trying her best William Shatner impression, making unnecessary pauses and inflections that made her performance laughable.

KAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNN!!!!!

All of the characters were dumb, even by horror movie standards. They seemed to have no concept of what was going on and asked all of the wrong questions. Then, on their first try to stop the ghost from possessing the house, they were more confident than the Seattle Seahawks opting to throw in the last minute of play with only one yard to go in the Superbowl.

Sport!

The only likable character in the whole movie is the ghost that is killing people. She seems to have a good attitude about her situation and is just trying to make the best of it. Can't blame her, really. They all had it coming.

My Rating: 1/10

Sinister (2012)

Directed by Scott Derrickson
Written by Scott Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill
Starring Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, James Ransone and Nick King

A true-crime writer finds a cash of 8mm home movie reels that suggest the murder he is currently researching is the work of a serial killer whose career dates back to the 60s. But he soon learns that his research may be putting his family in harms way.

Nope! Nope, nope, nope… nope, nope… WHOLE lotta NOPE! I have a very inconsistent relationship with horror movies. I either find them boring and not very scary, or I find them very creepy and will find myself trying to think of something else so that I can sleep at night.

"Sinister" isn't the best horror movie, but it avoids certain elements that make so many of them seem interchangeable. In today's market, the horror genre is littered with jump scares, excessive gore and bad acting. I guess that's not just modern horror movies, but horror movies in general. They usually suck. But every now and then, there is one that just freaks the hell out of me.

RUN, BITCH, RUN! HE GON' GET YOU!!!

This movie is filled with intensely macabre imagery that many of the PG-13 horror movies are missing. I mean, I think dead little girls are creepy too, but there are only so many times that you see one with her hair in front of her face before you want to go out and by them a comb. Imagery is what makes this movie in my opinion. In lieu of jump scares, the directed opts for painfully long shots that don't cut away. That alone sets the tone for the entire movie in the opening shot. 

My only complaint is that this story takes place in Pennsylvania and in one of the opening scenes Ethan Hawke kills a scorpion… and doesn't think it's weird that there is a scorpion in the North East. Then, about halfway through, he tells a Police Deputy who has lived in that town his entire life about the scorpion… and the Deputy doesn't think it's weird.

For the record, scorpions are not native to Pennsylvania. And if you ever find one in your Pennsylvania home, you should immediately assume that there is a serial killer stalking you. That's what I think at least.

My Rating: 6.5/10

The Lazarus Effect (2015)

Directed by David Gelb
Written by Luke Dawson and Jeremy Slater
Starring Olivia Wilde, Mark Duplass, Sarah Bolger, Evan Peters and Donald Glover

A group of medical students discover a way to bring back living things from the dead. But when one of their own dies in an accident, they decide to use the barely tested method on her. She comes back to life, but with unexpected side effects.

Stealing cliches from several sub-genres of horror films, "The Lazarus Effect" has little originality to make itself stand out from the rest. Filled with jump scares, inexplicably dark rooms and predictable plot "twists", you feel as though you've seen this movie hundreds of times as it plays out.

The trailer itself is filled with spoilers, including the deaths of main characters and with a running time of 70 minutes, excluding the credits, the idea seems as though it were rushed. This movie could have been so much more, but the studio involved is the studio responsible for "The Purge" and "Paranormal Activity", two franchises that have more interest in making a quick buck than they do creating quality entertainment.

Of course Olivia Wilde would have demon eyes and

still be gorgeous. What else did you think would happen?

The only positive I can say about this movie is the cast. Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, Evan Peters and Mark Duplass are some of my favorite actors. And while horror is not a new genre for Wilde and Peters, it's nice to see Duplass and Glover trying something new.

If you're like me and not a huge fan of horror movies, you could probably skip this one. It's nothing special. If you are a horror fanatic, who knows? You might love it.

My Rating: 5.3/10

Grizzly (1976)

Directed by William Girdler
Written by Harvey Flaxman, David Sheldon and Andrew Prine
Starring Christopher George, Andrew Prine, Richard Jaeckel and Joan McCall

When a eighteen-foot tall grizzly bear terrorizes a popular National Park during peak camping season, the head Park Ranger must protect the visitors from its wrath.

In an attempt to become the "Jaws" for the woods, this movie takes damn near every single plot point and filming style from Spielberg's classic thriller. Everything from the shooting style (having angles from the perspective of the creature), to having a Park Manager (the Mayor in "Jaws") who refuses to close the mountain risking the lives of their visitors for the sake of money.

It even has a war veteran who has stories that give him extra inspiration to seek revenge on the killer animal. And he makes huge speech about a tragic even caused by the bear much like Quint does in the 1975 film (Spoiler: Even the endings are the same).

Yeah… This happens.

The only thing they didn't rip-off, excluding the antagonist and location of course, was the soundtrack. The soundtrack to this movie switches between sounding like it's from an old western film to that of a romantic film from the 50s. It is so unfitting that it's laughable. And that's not the only thing funny about this.

The scenes in which the bear kills someone are pretty hilarious. I don't know if it would have been scary back in the 70s, but today it'll just make you laugh. The acting is terrible. 90% of the scenes throughout the entire movie are ADR'd (Automated Dialogue Replacement). And the way the killing scenes are shot have been parodied by too many modern comedies to not produce a chuckle.

This movie isn't bad enough to be good like "Troll 2" and other great-terrible movies. And it's certainly not good enough to be good. It's just bad. The blatantly stolen plot points from "Jaws" don't help it's case either. It does have an awesome poster, though.

My Rating: 2/10