Goodnight Mommy (2015 - Austria)

(German Title: Ich Seh Ich She)

Directed by Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz

Written by Veronica Franz and Severin Fiala

Starring Lukas and Elias Schwartz and Susanne Wuest

Throughout the world, different cultures make for different tastes in many themes and genres. For instance, a film that American’s might find funny and entertaining may fly right over the heads of audiences in Great Britain. It’s not that either is wrong or right, but rather than comedy is purely subjective. And what one person might find relatable, another person from another country might find it random. Comedy is not Universal.

On the other end of the spectrum is the horror genre. Horror transcends cultures and terrifies us all regardless of where we’re from or what language we speak. We are all afraid of what goes “bump” in the night. Regardless of one’s background, it is near impossible to not feel a sense of unease when presented with the unknown. And, apparently creepy little kids.

In this Austrian film, a pair of identical twin boys, Lukas and Elias, struggle to settle back home when their Mother returns home from having cosmetic surgery. Her face hidden by bandages, her increasingly odd behavior fuels the boys’ nightmares. Their fear and paranoia takes control as they seek to find out the true identity of the woman beneath the gauze.

In a film that could just as easily rely on loud noises and quick cuts to cause the viewers heart rate to rise, on the contrary, the filmmakers opt for slow moving shots and force you to listen to the silence for clues. A delicately constructed film, you more or less need to watch every frame in order to see and understand every little nuance created for the story. “Goodnight Mommy” won’t scare you, per say. But it will certainly make you feel uneasy straight away.

This film was very difficult to review because there is so much to say. Yet saying anything more would give too much away.

In order to understand the films true story and not just the one presented in the trailer, you need to see it for yourself. It is so much more than it lets on.

My Rating: 8/10

Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972)

Written and Directed by Werner Herzog

Starring Klaus Kinski, Del Negro, Ruy Guerra and Peter Berling

In the 16th century, the ruthless and insane Don Lope de Aguirre leads a Spanish expedition in search of El Dorado.

A story of man's greed, both materialistic and spiritual, "Aguirre, the Wrath of God" is about more than just one man's selfishness. Through his acts of barbarianism and intimidation, the films protagonist also serves as a suitable antagonist, destroying anything and anyone that stands his way and crossing the line from the films opening.

In his first of a handful of collaborations with the infamous Klaus Kinski, Werner Herzog runs a production that is just as crazy and dangerous as the story of the films characters. Throughout the film, there is a sense of unease, hopelessness and aimlessness due to the way it was filmed. Whether it was intentional or unintentional, it certainly added to the suspense of a somewhat vacant plot.

As is the case with most, if not all of Werner Herzog's films, this is most certainly not for everyone. To the average movie goer, it could be seen as a long (despite an hour and a half running time) and boring story in which very little happens. But if you look at it with a slightly more studious eye, it is a brilliant allegory for the destruction Europeans brought on to the natives of the New World.

So if you do watch it, be sure to examine it and take it in for what it is. A Werner Herzog film.

My Rating: 8/10

As Far As My Feet Will Carry Me (2001)

Directed by Hardy Martins
Written by Bastian Clevé, Hard Martins & Bernd Schwamm, based on the novel by Josef Martin Bauer
Starring Bernhard Bettermann, Anatolly Kotenyov, Michael Mendl and Iris Böhm

At the end of World War II, a German POW doing hard labor in the Soviet Gulag escapes from his Siberian camp to return home. He travels over 8,000 miles, mostly on foot as he is pursued by a Soviet NKVD officer.

Undoubtedly, an impressive story, this film is plagued with budget problems. Made with only 15 Million German Marks (about $8 Million US), the sacrifices made might have seemed small, but they really distracted from the story.

Filmed using the digital cameras that Christopher Nolan still thinks are being used, the image quality looks more like a PBS made for TV movie, rather than an epic German war films. That alone was a enough to lower the overall quality of the film.

The majority of the performances were strong enough to carry the film. However, at a running time of 120 minutes, the plot begins to seem almost as repetitive as the Nazi soldiers days had become. I understand that it is, in fact, the story of a man walking 8,000 miles, but there are ways of telling a survival story without them becoming tedious.

Had the film been shorter, or even told in the past tense like other, similar films, this could have been a great film. The story is definitely there. That is not being contested. The way the filmmakers decided to tell the story just did not do it justice. I had such high hopes for it.

My Rating: 5/10

This Must Be The Place (2011)

Directed by Paolo Sorrentino
Written by Paolo Sorrentino and Umberto Contarello
Starring Sean Penn, Judd Hirsch, France McDormand and Eve Hewson

Cheyenne, a retired rock star living off his royalties in Dublin, returns to New York City to find the man responsible for a humiliation suffered by his recently deceased father during W.W.II.

In a role that seems to contradict itself, Sean Penn plays a quiet, mild-tempered former rock star who seems to be trying everything he possible can to not be a cliché. This alone makes for an interesting character, but the filmmakers try to add more, unnecessary elements to make the movie more deep than it needs to be.

The first act is remarkably engrossing. The mannerisms and voice of the character Penn created was an astonishing change from the norm. The study of who this rock star really was after all of the lights and cameras were away and after he grew out of his drug habits was worth making a full-length movie. But they didn't focus on that too long.

In an attempt to make a statement that had already been made in the first five minutes, the writers decided to add the element of a dying Father who was held at Auschwitz during WWII. This played less like a genius twist in the story and more like a cry for an award. The plot had already been set and with the destination not having changed at all, the entire middle forty-five minutes just seemed gratuitous.

Sean Penn gives a killer, toned down performance that rivals many of his other roles. It's just a shame that it is wasted on half of this film. Despite a few technical editing problems (that are more of a personal opinion), I really enjoyed the beginning of this movie. It felt a lot like a Coen Brothers film. But the last half just killed it for me. It was trying to be something it just simply wasn't.

My Rating: 5.5/10

Fitzcarraldo (1982)

Written and Directed by Werner Herzog
Starring Klaus Kinski, Miguel Ángel Fuentes, Paul Hittscher and Huerequeque Enrique Bohorquez

An obsessive rubber baron, intent on building an opera house deep within the Peruvian jungle, he devises a plan to obtain a a region of forest thought to be inaccessible in order to raise money for his passion project. He finds he must move a steamboat over a mountain in order to achieve his goal.

There is a saying in the film industry in regards to post production and the editing of a film. "Cut what you love". This might seem like the rantings of a lunatic at first, but it's meaning is quite true. If a scene does not add to your movie, or slows down the pacing, or in anyway affects the focus of the audience, get rid of it. Leave it on the cutting room floor. This movie is a perfect example of why this phrase exists.

Before I continue with my criticisms of it, know that this movie is fantastic. It is a film that could truly only be directed by Werner Herzog and his crazy ways. His obsessive genius, as well as Klaus Kinski's talent are highlighted and showcased in this film. The sheer scale of this film is one to behold with amazement. As much of a cliché as the word is today, this film is the very definition of the word "epic".

That is due in part by how it was made. How do you make a film in which a 320-ton steamboat is moved over a mountain? Why, you move a 320-ton steamboat over a mountain, damn it! How do you make a film in which said steamboat and it's crew go through some of the most dangerous rapids in South America?

Well, that's tricky. You actually intentionally place the steamboat in some of the most dangerous rapids in South America and roll the camera's as it crashes into the rocks protruding on either side and the cast and crew get flung all over the boat.

Regardless of how awesome this film is, I do have a problem with it's length. That is coming from a man who loves long movies and would rather have had "The Hobbit" series be released as one 9-hour long movie instead of three separate ones. I love long movies. And while with a running time of 2-hours and 37-minutes, this movie isn't terribly long, it certainly feels like it is.

I feel Herzog could have cut certain scenes out and shortened some shots and cut the film down to two hours or less. Perhaps it was the hell he had put himself through creating these insanely captivating images that caused him to be unable to part ways with even a single frame. I could understand that. But I found it's length and pace distracting at times, which is extremely rare for me.

But it is definitely impressive.

That one criticism aside, this movie is a brilliant portrayal of what one man will do in order to obtain his dream. It is a overwhelming display of the enormity of the South American jungle and the human spirit. And yet another example of how German cinema is considered by some to be the best in the world.

My Rating: 8/10

Cinderella/Frozen Fever (2015)

Good news! You guys get a twofer today! Sure, the first part is for a short film, but there you go!

Frozen Fever
Directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee
Starring Kristin Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff and Josh Gad

On Ana's birthday, Kristoff and Elsa are determined to give her the best celebration ever, but Elsa's icy powers may be putting the party at risk!!!!!!

Ugh… UGH… UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I didn't think it was possible, but this is actually more cringe worthy of the original feature. With terrible lyrics and dumb ass situations that could be avoided with honesty and communication, this is five to ten minutes of torture. Not even Olaf provided the comedic relief to make me not want to stab myself in the ears and gouge my eyes out.

-1,000,000/10 (Yes, that's a negative)

Speaking of gouging eyes out.


Cinderella
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Chris Weitz
Starring Lily James, Cate Blanchett, Richard Madden and Helena Bonham Carter

When her father unexpectedly passes away, young Ella finds herself at the mercy of her Stepmother and her daughters. Never one to give up hope, Ella's fortunes begin to change after meeting a dashing stranger.

Even as a child, I was never a fan of this story (unless it included severed toes and gouged out eyes like the German original). Cinderella became a victim of her own kindness and never stood up for herself. And only when she won the heart of a Prince did she see a glimmer of hope to escape her own personal, self inflicted hell. I don't like this phrase because it insinuates that women can't be strong, but there's no other way to put it-- Cinderella needs to grow some balls.

The problems I have with this movie aren't this individual films fault. It's the source material. Disney has made a story about a kind woman getting her rewards and evil people getting what they had coming all along and turned it into a story in which a woman needs a man to truly be happy. By simply taking out the violent parts, the message changes completely.

It makes the titular character seem weak and unable to stand up for herself. She takes any and all crap that her stepmother and sisters dish out to her without having even the slightest bit of attitude. This girl has no self worth, whatsoever. If anything, this story is the reason curse words are so popular now. She should have just told them off the entire movie.

Not Picture: Cinderella giving her Stepmother the finger

with her right hand.

Possibly the most irritating thing about this story (not just the movie) is that Cinderella doesn't care if the Prince marries her or not. Sure, she loves him, but she understands there is order in who Royals marry. Yet, she refuses to tell him any information because she doesn't want the Prince to know she is just a servant girl. Because of this, we are dragged through another forty-five minutes of abuse, because she fails to think logically thus giving us the third act that has become a staple in the fantasies of young girls.

Again, none of these problems are the fault of the director or screenwriter. It is purely Disney who is to blame. In an attempt to make it more family friendly, it became a misogynistic story about how women need men to be truly happy… Sorry ladies, if you want to be happy, you're stuck with us! Disney told me so!

To add any positives to this film, the cinematography and costume designs were vibrant and beautiful. But they were overshadowed by mediocre acting and a story that reminds me of watching soap operas with my Grandma when she came to visit in the summer.

My Rating: 2/10

Iron Sky (2012)

Directed by Timo Vuorensola
Written by Jarmo Puskala, Johanna Sinisalo, Michael Kalesniko and Tim Vuorensola
Starring Julia Dietze, Christopher Kirby, Götz Otto and Peta Sergeant

In 1945, the Allies of World War II defeated the Nazi's. But what they didn't realize is that some of the most prominent members of the National Socialist Party (including Hitler) traveled to the dark side of the moon and started an Aryan space colony. When an American astronaut is caught by them in 2018, it sets forth a plan for the Nazi's to return and take over the planet.

Sometimes as an avid movie watcher, you just get tired of watching heavy movies. They ware you down. So during those times, you seek out the most ridiculous movie you can find. Some ways you can search for movies like this are the topic you feel like watching, then adding the word "space".

This movie is so gleefully terrible and ridiculous that I'm pretty sure the script only had two words over and over again. "Space Nazis. Space Nazis. Space Nazis". Complete with a Sarah Palin-esque president, a black man that is turned white with Nazi science, a beautiful blond woman, Zeppelin shaped space ships and references to the German film "Downfall".

Nazi science? Did he say Nazi science?

If you go into this movie expecting anything other than absurdness, you will hate it. And this is not a good movie at all. But if you go in with the right mind, you will enjoy it for it's silliness. The only thing missing from it is a Nazi riding a T-Rex.

Which WILL be in the sequel!!!

My Rating: 2/10 (But in a good way)